To read about how this Relationship Talk series began, visit the post Z for Zest for Camaraderie in Marriage
The coming in of kids in life sure does have a great influence on the marital bond. We have three young moms on the blog today to talk to us about how their relationship with the spouse changed after kids.
Anjana Malakar – Anjana is a digital marketing consultant and a mom blogger at Mommy Republic. She has an amazing blog for all the moms out here, do check.
Dr. Saman Shakeeb Khan – Saman is a homeopathic doctor and a parenting writer at Momspresso. She has some important parenting tips to tell us, do have a look at her articles.
An Anonymous Contributor (referred to, with the pseudo name Oviya) – Oviya is a mom of two boys, a homemaker and used to be a lecturer in a college, once upon a time.
From the Series
Interestingly, we have three different perspectives from the mothers. Anjana became even more responsible watching her husband taking care of the baby (Yes, it’s a surprise to most of us, ha!); Saman saw a new man in her husband with their parenthood; and Oviya rewinds to discover what she has missed in her life after kids.
While what Anjana and Saman have to say is so heart-rendering, Oviya brings in yet another reality that happens in several households. Their stories vividly tell us how a husband’s role in parenting has the potential to change a woman’s life for good or bad. And the relationship between them, as well!
“As a couple we realized we didn’t see eye to eye on anything to do with baby care and parenting in general. This caused so many issues, I can’t even begin to list!
Having an over involved dad has its perks – but then you also have to deal with someone second guessing your every single move. How you put the blanket on the baby to the clothes wash brand – everything is under scrutiny. I realized my hubby was the mother in law I never had! LOL!!
But yes, I do feel so blessed and grateful when he’s changing a dirty nappy while I emerge from a bath. I couldn’t love him more when he offers to go to get groceries while baby wearing.
Instead of being the pampered one, I realized that I have to be as responsible as my hubby when it came to my son. We have evolved to a deeper understanding on how it’s a partnership and it just won’t work out if one of us (meaning me) is keeping score. Having a child has given me perspective about life and how much I have to be grateful in life.”
From Dr. Saman…
“A married couple is also addressed as life partners, and that is so true as after marriage you are sharing your life with someone. But for my husband and me, it actually started after we became parents. After the birth of our child, we realized how it is not just about thinking alike but thinking together and working as a team.
We moms always strive to be the best for our children and always make sure to give them everything in our capacity. But in this whole journey of motherhood, there are times when I feel exhausted, confused, anxious, and have mood swings. Each and every time there is one person who fixes it – that is none other than my husband.
I could not be where I am today without his support, in terms of health – mentally, emotionally and physically – and as well in and enjoying my motherhood. Becoming a parent wasn’t just a different experience for me but for him too. Parenting is not just about being a mother or father but partners who support each other and work as a team.
It is a known fact that during pregnancy and childbirth, women go through a lot of changes physically, mentally and emotionally. This is also a life-changing experience for a man as for him too it’s a totally new world called parenting.
The journey towards parenting introduced me to a totally new person. A person who is more lovable, a person who is more responsible, a person who is more caring, a person who is called dad now. I got to know a different side of his personality in this journey from being husband to becoming a father.
So it is not just ME but it is WE when it comes to parenting. Being each other’s support system in the ups and downs of life, we can give our kids a better and happy environment.”
“Our’s was a love marriage but his love for me has been diluting year after year. After having my second child, my husband changed a lot. He has been irresponsible since then and doesn’t feel guilty in saying he is having two sons and yet, he doesn’t have any stress. He’s now more busy with Whatsapp friends and groups and has a nice time for himself.
I was a lecturer in a reputed college before marriage. I resigned my job after marriage to relocate to the city he was working in. Soon after marriage I became busy with pregnancies and unfortunately, we didn’t have any support from any of the sides.
After 10 years of marriage and with two kids now, I am wondering what I did all these years. My husband has become strong career-wise and financially, but what have I done? I’ve also become physically weak after deliveries and in taking the responsibility of looking after family and kids.
As a homemaker and as a mother, I have to work for the entire family, but as a father he is financially supporting the family but takes no other responsibility towards home and kids.
I need my husband’s support, but he argues that he supports the family financially and that’s all he can do. I don’t know if it’s the situation in my home only or if it is the everywhere. I am happy with my two boys but at the same time I feel sad about this point. And the fact that in spite of being a postgraduate, I’ve missed a career hurts me.”
About the Relationship Talk Series
It has been my fantasy project to hear from people their first-hand emotional experiences about the evolution of their relationships because, I believe there’s a celebrity in each one of us and that all of us have stories to inspire others. And that was the notion with which I went about asking a few known and unknown persons to contribute their thoughts to this series on relationships.
To read more about how this series began, visit the post Z for Zest for Camaraderie in Marriage
More posts from the series:
You can find all the posts of the A to Z series on Marital Relationships here.
Header Image: Pixabay