Dating may either precede the commitment phase in relationships or by the Indian traditional way, begin only after there is an agreement between the two. However, according to the norm of alphabets, D follows C, so in this series, Dating follows Commitment lol!
Imagine a couple who just walked together through a glass door. They are on the other side now and the door they walked through is put on a lock. They can turn back to the door to peep through their old memories but can never trace their steps back to the other side. And they wouldn’t be bothered because there’s so much to look forward to.
Evolving from Commitment to Dating
On the outlook, it may be the most-awaited days of their life. However, ask some, they cannot deny the little disappointment that comes along with breaking the ice 😉 Yet, it feels like they have their whole new life ahead – so much to speak, so much to confess, so much to plan and so much to dream – and all of it to do together!
It is a beginning of a cocoon life. It’s the two of you in your minds, just the two of you. You wake up in the morning to realize you already missed the other for a few hours now. You weave stories, the stories of your future together. You fantasize your married life. He hugs you from behind while you work in the kitchen. She makes that irresistible move after you come back tired from office, signalling a beautiful night. And you roam the world as a perfect couple (Note: we’ll come back to the same points in a few days to laugh at life’s pun). Courtship gives that fantasy life at its best!
You almost carry the other person in your head wherever you exist. And finally, when you get to hit bed, it becomes customary to go to a private place, yeah for that phone call. Your body may be crying for a good night’s sleep and there might be nothing to talk, yet it’s so compelling to end the day with that call, with those sweet nothings.
While this could be the romantic side of the relationship, the essence of the courtship days is the foundation that’s laid between the couple. How you begin pairing with each other now shall speak a lot about how your life shall move ahead at a later stage.
In a few passing-by days, the relationship is sure to undergo changes – physically and emotionally. Lust is an inseparable part of this phase. Where and how you both decide to take it up matters much in shaping your bond now. On the emotional side, taking for granted and obsession and dependency on each other may tend to get stronger. If you’ve read Men are from Mars, Women are from Mars, you must be familiar with the ‘Men are like rubber bands’ theory. Soon after an intimate phase, the man tends to move away emotionally from the girl. He keeps moving far and far and at one point, tada!, he falls back to her like a rubber band. However, before this ‘tada’ can happen the insecurity in the girl must have bugged him a hundred times about what the problem was. That’s how chaos peep into most relations. This could be just an example of how a smooth bonding gets subjected to distortions. You may want her to dress in a certain way. She may get angry with you for not pouring the ‘love’ she’s been expecting. Or simply, you may be getting bored of each other. Possessiveness, expectations, disappointments, misunderstandings, stress from the other walks of life, disagreements and a lot more can all creep in as well.
There’s no protocol for a perfect relationship. Neither a picture of a perfect couple. However, there’s much in our hands which can take control over situations. Dating days are the perfect times to begin taking charge of that control. The relationship is relatively free now without the intervention of family, kids and responsibilities. When you look back at this phase later in your life, you will realize the potential it had carried in making that strong base for your bonding.
If you are in one such phase, feel blessed. It is a precious time of your life. It’s just the two of you now. Yes, love and care could be abundant. However, there’s something else crucial about this particular stage. Respect! Developing respect for each other can easily be overlooked over time. Letting your confining demands to rest and acknowledging each other’s individuality strengthens the hold between you two. Many break-ups happen at this point for this reason and they assume they weren’t meant for each other.
And if all that was well ended well, you’ll be moving soon to the next official status of your relationship!
Other posts in the A to Z series: