I’ve been writing on motherhood emotions the whole of this month. And I’ve been writing as though motherhood is all about life after the baby. But there’s that tiny part of motherhood during the prenatal stages which I am fondly naming here as the ‘zygotic moments’. And for a change, this is going to be a picture post. Rather than looking back to think how and what I felt during my pregnant days, I thought it would feel realistic to present the original memories. The images you see below are the real-time anecdotes from my first pregnancy photo book which I had created for my son to cherish in the future.
I’ve titled the book as Mama’s Belly Book. The book has pictures taken through the ten months. It has printed notes on important milestones, occasions and memories during that period. If you had come to meet me during my pregnancy, your photograph with me will definitely be in it. It has the assumptions of everyone who took their chance in predicting the baby’s gender. It has a collection of all the baby name suggestions we had received. So, if you have contributed one, it will be there. It has ultra sound scan images, week-by-week notes on changes, pictures of the gradual development of my baby bump – and it has in it all of my excitements and anxieties written down by me.
Following are few random lines taken from the 38-paged book:
Sometimes, we expect but it doesn’t happen. Sometimes, we least expect but it happens. The second kind is more interesting. We breath, eat and sleep as though we are aware of what happens inside our bodies. But, we are not even close to being aware of what happens within. This is the first enlightenment that the news of pregnancy brought with it. Developmental biology used to be my most favourite subject during my master’s days. I’ve studied every detail of zygote, embryo, blastula and gastrula; yet when it was happening in reality inside my body, I had no clue of it. It – the miracle of nature – seemed mysterious to me for the nth time. It could have happened with any set of genes of the hundreds of the sperm cells. To put it in a funny way, one man is just half zygote away from becoming another.
This is a close-to-my heart photo book because it isn’t just a photo album. It is that life phase of my son which he might get curious to know about, one day. On that one day, when he shall ask me, “What did I do inside your tummy, Amma?” I will gift him this book. I’ve spent days working on making this book and now I am waiting for that one day when he will ask me the question.
I had no idea what the first pregnancy scan was. The radiologist was busy with the computer for sometime and then she said, “This is your baby’s heart beat.” It did really make me believe that there was indeed a baby in me now.
When you keep looking at the mirror everyday, hoping to see a small bump, even a flat tummy would give a bump appearance 😆 But when one day when the real bump comes out, you will know what fool you were all these days. The bump was very precious, very prestigious! It carried an empathy wherever it went. Oh, I loved it!
I would standstill. I would hold my breathe. I would fix my gaze on my belly and belly alone. When that wriggly wriggly thing moves from inside…….it can only be experienced, sorry.
This was the time I changed from a poor eater to a normal eater. No, not chocolate pastries alone. Solely because I was responsible to provide nutrients to the one who is solely dependent on me.
This sums up everything. Pregnancy and motherhood can make a woman go crazy but nothing else, from what I’ve known, can make a woman feel complete.
With this post, I complete the A to Z Blogging Challenge 2017 on the theme, Motherhood Emotions.
Here’s a list of the other posts in this series: