In the first few days after the arrival of a new baby, mothers will feel like there’s too much happening in life. There isn’t a scheduled time to sleep or bath or eat. Sometimes, it’s hard to keep a track of whether you’ve been to the toilet or not. It’s like you decide to bath, the baby cries. You decide to speak to a friend, baby pees. You decide to have lunch, baby poops. And that’s how new moms land up getting disconnected from other things that they did before the baby arrived. It’s not exactly ‘time’ that they lack but ‘attention’ to other details of their life that they miss.
As a first-time mother, I have felt withdrawn from activities which were a part of my pre-mommy life. After a few days of the baby’s coming in, seeing 5 to 10 missed calls notifications every day wasn’t surprising any longer. On most of those days, my phone had to remain in the silence mode else those few hours I had painstakingly tried to put the baby to sleep will be wasted in a few seconds. Well, the baby has slept. Can I call a few people now? Yes, after I have my meal, after I have my bath! What?! The baby is up? But I haven’t even had my meal yet. That’s how the initial days pass without much communication with people dear to us.
Frequent feeds and frequent nappy changes steal the little time I might have planned for something else. Sometimes, I might plan to go through the small booklet that my pediatrician gave me but plenty of other pending chores make it impossible. As a book reviewer, I make reading possible inspite of being involved in other tasks. However, since my girl was born, I haven’t got to read even a newspaper. The last book I had received for review is still waiting its turn. The same goes with movies and music. Not that I am a big fan of movies but those handful numbers I would watch earlier have zeroed down now. Perhaps, going to a cinema hall is the last adventure that any new mom can dream about 😆
It isn’t comfortable to step out of home carrying a new born except for vaccinations. Babies are tiny, not yet immune to the outside environment, demand frequent feeds and tend to be moody – yet another confinement! In our tradition, in addition, new-borns are not be taken out for the first few months for the fear of catching the imaginary scary things.
Did I forget how out-of-style mommies go during this phase?! Not that I am a fashionable person but even the occasional hair cuts I used to do went out of way. I remember remaining with tangled hair for a few weeks in a row when my son was born. Dressing up has always been for the sake of it ever since I became a mother. That goes with personal shopping too. I’ve bought more toys than anything else in the last two years.
Thanks to social media for that alone gives solace to moms of our generation. When the baby is sleeping, I can neither step out nor speak to someone; however, I can manage to chat, write or virtually connect with my dear ones, well mostly fellow mommies who have lots to whine about their motherhood, ha!