During my early twenties, when I began to imagine about getting married and having children, I saw my future as a mom who will stay with my children. I don’t think I’ve ever had career-oriented dreams. I neither envisaged myself as a typical house wife of the olden days. I assumed I’ll do something (not very clear though) for a profession but shall not compromise being away from my children. Perhaps, my underlying sub-conscious thoughts have got manifested so well that my life path has exactly followed my then vague fantasies. The feeling that I am there for my children at home is beautiful. The five years of study and the seven years of cancer research I was into, before my son was born has never interfered between my decision to remain a stay-at-home mom. I wouldn’t call foregoing my career as a sacrifice; definitely not! It’s something I had planned years ago and I left it behind with all my heart as much as I took motherhood with all my heart.
I’ve done around ten jobs in the last four years, working from home. There have been full-time jobs, part time jobs, jobs that were nowhere related to my educational background and jobs that were strictly deadline based. It wasn’t easy to manage both children and work from one place. In fact, it’s much harder than going to an office. However, it has given me a sense of fulfillment that I was (and am) with my children during every stage of their growth and learning.
A few years ago, I didn’t feel quite right about the decision of working moms. I’ve seen children being left to the care of grandparents or baby sitters or a day care. But, over the years, I’ve learnt to empathize with the situation of working moms. It isn’t wrong to put your career in front of your family. Children will grow up in no time and the day when they no longer need us as much as they needed as little kids will come, a stay-at-home mom might feel disappointed for having to forego a career. All said, now I realize how difficult it is for every working mom – when the babies are unwell but you will have to attend office, when the care taker takes a day off all of a sudden and you are caught between something important at work, when you don’t get to pick up your child from school to meet the teachers and other moms personally, when you don’t get to take your children to the play area everyday and most of all, when your child has that blank look on her face when you are leaving home……it isn’t easy at all!
Perhaps, being at home is a little easier when it comes to the emotional aspect of separation from children. In spite of the small jobs I do from home, I know I am missing a career. Personally, it hasn’t bothered me, at least not yet. However, it is a good feeling that I earn enough to spend for the little things my son asks me, that I can occasionally spend for my parents and my nieces. As a matter of fact, this is one factor that stay-at-home moms generally miss.
Yes, it’s frustrating sometimes, exhausting sometimes. But if you ask me if I want to exchange this experience with anything else in the world, I would have nothing as beautiful as motherhood. Especially, being privileged to be at home with my children for their everything gives a fulfilling feeling.
Karma is indeed blissful!
How would you define your karma as a mother? Please share in the comments below.
Here’s a list of the other posts in this series: