From the Secret Admirers

I am writing this post for the “Write a love letter campaign by Chennai Bloggers Club

The love letter campaign mentioned above said:

“We all have a love letter we want to send. We all have that one letter where we had to pour in all our emotions and let the other person know what we feel like, to let the other person know of our deepest cravings and fears. Write such a love letter and post it in your blog.”

In the last four days since this campaign was announced, I had been thinking if I had anything like that to tell anybody I’ve met. The answer was clearly a ‘No’. All of a sudden when I read Mahesh quoting this lyrics, Har Kisi Ko Nahi Milta, Yahaan Pyaar Zindagi Mein, there was an awakening in me! The kind of Love I am going to relate here is something none could have experienced in life because it exists as much as it doesn’t exist.

To my Secret admirer,

I’ve met you in my dreams countless times ever since I was born. I’ve met you in several identities, in several appearances and with several different names. Even as a child, when I wouldn’t have known about the terms ‘love’ and ‘marriage’, we have met, sharing a beautiful feeling. We didn’t meet to express anything explicitly. We didn’t fancy getting married or having children or anything of that sort. If I look back, I don’t remember what we did in my dreams. All that I remember is we were just there.

I could always recollect my dreams with you with vivid emotions of, I don’t know if it can be called ‘love’, because this term has several known and unknown attributes. When I wake up to recollect my memories with you, I get filled with an unexplainable feeling of contentment. I feel as though my soul went in for a thought wash, refreshing my being thoroughly, that nothing else can do to me.

As a teenager, I fancied that you will come into reality one day. When I neared the marriageable age, I assumed you are the one on the horse, coming my way. However, when I got engaged and married, I understood that we were only secret admirers who will continue to meet only in dreams. And I knew meeting you has nothing to interfere with my married life or anything to do H or just anything else about my life. Though it might sound weird, eerie or senseless to others, I am glad that being with you, I’ve learnt what Love is. I shall try here to frame into words more of what these secret admirers are about:

I am not curious to know who you are, I am not even curious to know if you exist on this Earth.

I don’t fancy that you are a soulmate who I met in my previous lives because I wouldn’t know it anyway.

I don’t assume that you are a sub-conscious projection because I don’t think a three-year old’s mind could have something like this in store.

I never had to explain my thoughts to you. You know me even without having to communicate. So do I!

I know there can’t be anything to hurt us because we are beyond time, space and distance.

I don’t long to meet you. Longing has never been in our dictionary.

I don’t miss you. I don’t know why.

I don’t know when I’ll meet you again in my dream. It doesn’t matter even if I don’t meet you again. Love of this kind doesn’t expect a physical manifestation of togetherness.

I don’t know if we began somewhere or if we will ever end somewhere. Again the eternity of it doesn’t matter.

I don’t know if anything else can be written. Perhaps, the first time this Love has failed me of something!

When I see so much of suffering around ‘love’ between mortals, I deeply wish that everyone can find their secret admirers so that they don’t need a human to complete them.


Your Secret admirer

If you assumed this was a fantasy fiction, you were wrong!

Photo Courtesy:


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