Some people don’t smile or even raise an eyebrow before they crack that line while everybody around them get into an hysteric out-pour of laughter. We all would have met such people sometime, somewhere. This post is not about such good souls! I am about to talk about the other side of humanity – seriousness! About those people who made me feel I’ve done that blunder of life and I deserve to be executed anytime. About those people who drove me serious for nothing!
But what could be hilarious in them as the title says?
Several years past, when I think today about such morons and the little silly ugly feelings I went through, it certainly makes me smile and sometimes even laugh. They were after all seriously hilarious people!
#10 The Astrologer: They take their profession seriously – these astrologers. Rahu cannot be in my first house or second house. Third, fourth, fifth and sixth are not good as well. Seventh to twelfth houses don’t do any good either. I haven’t understood yet to where the hell Rahu must go 😕 He said the next five years will bring no hope in my life. My mom was instructed not to indulge in any auspicious plans for me. Trust me, all that could be auspicious happened to me in that period. I wish I could meet him once again to ask, ‘What was your problem?’ 👿
#9 The Newspaper Mania: This guy is truly passionate about Times of India while I open the newspaper only to play Sudoku. Unfortunately I get to sit next to him in the shuttle and you can imagine what I would go through every day. I didn’t know who yelled at who in the Parliament; I didn’t know who’s whose ex-lover and I didn’t even know why I should vote for the elections. Even if I try to act sleeping, he will catch me red-handed How can something be more important than the newspaper!
#8 The Librarian: This woman was too possessive about the books and was watchful that we don’t touch them. She made it clear that we ought to see the books from distance and take them out only if we are sure to lend them. See from distance? 🙄
#7 Smart Peeing: A guest had come home recently. She was boasting about how she had potty-trained her daughter from as early as six months. I was amused to know that she had never used diapers until to my shock, when the kid peed on our living room carpet 😯
#6 The Disease Lady: She has a long history of thyroid, BP, sugar and heart palpitations. Her girly matters are not smooth for long. She has symptoms of cancer, leprosy and swine flu. Toggle elbow, a disc prolapse – yes, yes she is suspecting to happen anytime. She cannot sit on the floor, her knees hurt nor can she climb stairs, low back pain. I eventually get into tears every time I talk to her 😳 Guess her profession? Yes, a doctor!
#5 The Botany Teacher: During class XII, she made me stand out of the class for two consecutive days, you know for what? Because I did not write the date on my class test paper 😡 For once, I got the spellings of Butea Frondosa, Acalipha Indica and Clitoria Ternatea right but it didn’t matter to her. I wish I knew she gave 1 mark for every correct date 😐
#4 The No-No Parents: ‘Do not play with the mud, you will catch germs’; ‘Do not run, you will dash on something’; ‘Do not jump, the rods are hard; ‘Do not sit quietly, we will not come here tomorrow then. I pity those little children in the park. I get as confused as them as to what they are supposed to do exactly
#3 The Photographer: That was the very first time I had been to a photo studio to get a passport size photo done. Unfortunately I went alone. I was a little nervous to sit like that, you know like what. This man first treated me like a spondylitis patient. I was made to move my neck this way and that way, eventually I came to how it was initially. I have this habit of smiling wide with all my teeth out, in front of cameras. He at once peeped out of the black cloth and said scornfully, ‘Shut up!’ 😯 The sea waves stopped, the birds halted and the breeze froze in me like in old films. I didn’t know it was that big a crime to smile for photographs! I still carry that photo and sometimes I go bursting with laughter remembering that shut up moment.
#2 The OCD Granny: I touch my head, she says, ‘Go wash your hands.’ I press the television remote buttons and yes, I should wash my hands. Laptop carries germs, so every shut down needs a hand wash. To my embarrassment the other day, I came out of the toilet and she asked, ‘Did you wash your hands?’ Shit! Nobody has ever asked me that question before
#1 Guess Who? ‘Swith off the TV, it’s late.’ ‘Put on the alarm, you’ll be late tomorrow.’ ‘Are you getting inside for bath, it’s getting late.’ ‘You have your meeting, don’t be late.’ I sometimes laugh to myself, after he leaves home, how I hunt him to office. Oh yeah, that’s ME, the number one on my list
Funny as it all seems to me today, I wish I could meet them once to offer a Cadbury5Star and let them know so much seriousness wasn’t needed after all
Photo Courtesy: http://www.tailsofamermaid.com