One of my dear friends wrote these words while on an online chat. I know this guy, a one-month-old father, from the time he was a useless bachelor, so irresponsible in everything, except for going around with his girl friend, and the tug-of-wars in their families in getting married, and their long-awaited 12-year love tale blossoming up in to their marriage, and the initial hiccups between the two, until now with their handsome one-month old prince in their arms.
Long before his wedding, whenever there was a talk on babies, he always tried to be wicked saying that he disliked babies, that becoming a father would be the start of a life of choirs.
It used to surprise us. “How somebody cannot like babies? It’s such a nice feeling to hold a baby, a feeling of elation, of unrestrained joy, isn’t?”. He remained deaf mocking at us that all this can happen only in movies.
And today he says,
He: “He turned one month today”
Me: “Great, how does he look like?”
He: “He is too tiny, small fingers, small toes, just like a toy. I haven’t taken him in to my arms yet, everybody says he is too delicate, so I am still scared. But she takes him close to her and all cuddle him in their palms, you know, he just fits so nicely in people’s arms”
Me: “How beautiful! Well, then what do you do”
He: “I only sit beside him all the time watching all that he does. I cannot stop staring at him, he is so perfect. Sometimes I put my finger in to his palm and wow! He tries to grab it!
Me: “Cute, and how is she?”
He: “Phew! She is awake all night as he sleeps all day. She is into him, totally into him”
Me: “God, then?”
He: “Remember the days when I was scared thinking about getting a child?”
Me: “Very well. And now?”
He: “Now…?? What can I say! For the first time when my eyes met his, scared? What an idiot I thought, I am the luckiest man alive”
Me: “I know, it must have been a great feeling”
He: “But then, now I feel I am responsible, responsible for this new life, responsible for what he becomes and that’s really scary”
He: “We’ve been thinking about how to bring him up. It’s a big commitment, I should tell you. The values he learns will be of what we hold for us now, and that means we’ll have to shape ourselves the best to give him the best from us….very scary”
Me: “Learning values from you sounds scary to me too :-P”
He: “Ha! And I have started writing a journal for him”
Me: “That’s fantastic. How did it strike your mind?”
He: “I thought he should know what he did from his first day. I write what I see of him, for what he cries, for what he smiles, what he does with his mom and what we both feel about him everyday”
Me: “I can’t believe it’s you!”
He: “Hehe 🙂 And I haven’t told her yet about the journal. I thought it should be a surprise for her too”
Me: “Lovely! I’ve asked my mom many a time what I used to do while I was a kid. So I know how it would feel for him and for her too to read all that after few years from now. And what else?”
He: “Yeah…there is so much I feel now. For all these years, it was easy to accept myself with all my stupidities, never tried for a reformation. You knew all that”
Me: “Absolutely ;)”
He: “But then, now I am afraid to do that. In fact I feel he is teaching me everything I need to take care of myself which my mom couldn’t, my dad couldn’t and even my wife couldn’t do. Feels like it’s all a new beginning”
He: “So small and great he is!!! Now, I am only waiting for the day when I will see him grown up. I don’t know how I would feel then”
How true his words are! What magic babies can do for our lives! There is much to learn from them, may be we shouldn’t try to be their moms and dads all the time. And the best part of this conversation, I thought, was the journal part. How much have we all missed to know how are initial days were like! Though a video can show our tiny little steps, written words can describe much more than that, is it not?
To all the couples who are expecting and to all who are already proud mothers and fathers,